


Dark Times

by Lupy180



Series: Dark Times [1]
Category: Vikings (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vikings, Angst, Drinking, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, F/M, Fluff, Modern Era, Smut, Vikings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-04
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 18:21:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16837906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lupy180/pseuds/Lupy180
Summary: Hvitserk was the one man that the Reader loved the most. He’s haunted by a tragic past that turns him into a pill addict and finds himself running to the Reader for help. Two practical strangers are brought together and are forced to face the one tragic past they both share. And they don’t even know it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: major drug abuse, drinking, angst, possible triggering (mentions of non con will be in later chapters), language, sexual tension… I think

Hvitserk was the one man that always tugged on your heart. He was once a handsome man who went to college but somewhere in that time his life had taken a turn for the worst. You had loved him all through high school, and when you tried admitting it to him he nearly laughed at you. 

You didn’t know what had made you so attracted to him, but with a simple look he always brought butterflies in your stomach. Even after he had broken your heart you still loved him and from time to time you had always wondered if he was okay. If he was even alive. 

But you were getting that answer right now. At 2 o'clock in the morning. The sound of a fist pounding on the door woke you from a deep sleep. You slowly approached the door and remained silent. It was a mystery how the stranger behind the door had gotten into the apartment building. Someone must have let them in. 

“Y/N, it’s Hvitserk. Please …open up…” Slurred words came from behind the door. 

You unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door. Hvitserk collapsed onto your cream colored carpet and started to slowly crawl into your apartment. A gust of cold wind blew into your home and made you shiver. You quickly closed the door and looked to see Hvitserk laying on his back. 

If it wasn’t for his voice you would have never recognized him. The Hvitserk you knew and loved had always been well kept and clean. He kept his hair short and neat. This one had grown his hair out and it was slicked back with only half an effort. He was only in a black shirt and black jeans which was stained with vomit. 

He reeked of alcohol, most likely tequila and bad body odor. His eyes were searching you up and down, glazed and bloodshot. 

“Hvitserk, why are you here?” You asked quietly as you folded your arms over your chest. 

You were in a pair of dark blue sweatpants with a long black night shirt that had long sleeves. But you couldn’t care what he was thinking. You thought you finally forgotten Hvitserk. Why did he have to show up on your door step of all people. 

Hvitserk groaned and began crawling towards you. He was so high he could barely move. 

“I was feeling really good. I tried calling you but your numbers changed. I wanted to tell you something.” He replied as he stood on his knees and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist. 

Your heart pounded in your chest and your stomach was doing flips. His cold fingers lifted up your shirt and pressed his face into your abdomen. You flinched at the feeling of his cold cheek pressing against your stomach. 

“Hmm, you’re so warm.” He whispered while pressing a light kiss to your navel. 

“Whoa! Hvitserk!” You tried breaking free of his grasp but it only caused him to tighten his embrace around you. 

His tongue dipped out from between his lips and dragged across the patch of skin just below your belly button. That caused your stomach to clench as heat flooded your thighs. 

“I wanna taste you.” He began moving lower. 

You wanted it so bad. This was the kind of thing you dreamed about since high school but you could tell he wasn’t in the right state of mind. You would never forgive yourself if you took advantage of him. 

“Hvitserk no. How about you take a nice hot shower. Sober up. I’ll try to call one of your brothers.” You again tried wrenching his arms off but they stiffened. 

He dug his teeth into your soft flesh and you yelped. “Mmm don’t do that. I want to stay with you.” 

His words were making tears build up in your eyes. You had to keep reminding yourself that he didn’t really mean it. He was just .. fucked up. 

“Hvitserk, if you don’t let me go and take a shower right now I will scream!” 

That was just an empty threat but you prayed it would work. 

Hvitserk smiled and retracted his arms from your waist only so his hands could grasp your hips. “As long as it’s my name I won’t have a problem with it.” He winked. 

Your body shuddered. “No, Hvitserk, let go of me!” 

He scowled and pushed you away from him. You stumbled back a few steps with widen eyes. “If we were in high school…” He swallowed a lump in his throat. “You’d say yes.” 

His words hit a soft spot on your heart. You blinked back your tears and headed down the dark hallway. You turned to the first door on your left and flipped the switch to your bathroom. You reached in the shower and turned on the hot water. 

Hvitserk stumbled behind you. When you turned around you saw that he had removed his shirt. You quickly spun back around. 

“Come on.” Hvitserk’s words made your eyes widen even more. 

He stepped into the shower. “I need help.” 

You turned to chastise him but then you saw him slump into the corner. He could barely stand. You removed your shirt and pants but remained in your bra and panties as you stepped next to him in the tub. 

You rubbed the soap onto a face cloth and handed it to him. He dragged the material lazily across his body with one hand while using the other to grip your shoulder. 

You helped him stand up under the hot water. He leaned his head down and you watched as the water ran through his hair and dripped down his chiseled jaw. It was hard not to stare. 

“Now, my hair… Please.” He grumbled. 

You poured some shampoo in the palm of your hand and ran your fingers through his messy hair. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as the soapy water ran down his perfect sculpted body. 

“All done.” You reached behind him and shut the water off. 

He nodded his head. “Thank you.” He whispered. 

You felt heat rush to your cheeks and stepped out to grab the both of you a towel. Hvitserk ended up in a pair of your ex’s flannel on pants with a big grey shirt. You went to your room and changed your bra and panties before changing back into the pjs you were in before. 

As you picked up his dirty clothes you turned and watched as Hvitserk headed for your room. 

“Wait! That’s my room!” You ran into your room and found Hvitserk hurrying himself under the covers on your bed. 

He leaned against your pillow and sighed. “The bed is big enough to share. Come here.” 

You huffed and threw the dirty clothes in the laundry basket. “Hvitserk, why are you here? Where’s your brothers?” 

He seemed annoyed at the question. “They’re back in Kattegate.” 

You furrowed your brows. “Then what are you doing here?!” 

He blinked and looked at you with his dark watery eyes. “I need help. You’re the only person I can think of that will be nice enough to help me.” 

“You barely know me.” You shot back. 

“I know you enough.” His lips curled into an innocent smile that made your heart melt. 

“What do you mean by you need help?” You questioned. 

He groaned. “I sort of have this problem…I don’t know how to explain it but when I think of you it kind of helps. I just need a place to crash for a while until I get my head straight.” 

You didn’t understand his words but decided to leave it at that. 

“Fine. I’ll sleep on the couch. Tomorrow I’m calling your brothers and they can come get you.” You reached for the pillow by his head but he grasped your wrist. 

“Please don’t leave me. Y/N, can’t you see I’m here because I need you. Not some random girl to hook up with. Not food, not water…just you. Please…help me.” His eyes filled with tears. 

“Jesus, what did you take?” You asked as you sat on the bed. 

“You would have better luck asking what I didn’t take. I used to be strong like you. And healthy like you. But now? I’m a prisoner to my addictions and I can’t stop. Please just make them stop.” He sobbed. 

“Ssh, it’s going to be okay.” You laid beside him. 

He wrapped an arm around you and burried his face in the crook of his neck. 

“You know they have clinics that can help. With professionals and sponsors you can call to help keep you on your feet.” You whispered. 

He reached up and threaded his fingers through your soaked hair. “I don’t want a fucking clinic. I just want you. Please.” 

Your body turned hot being so close to him. His warm breath scorched your neck and made you shiver. Hearing him plead for you made your stomach turn. 

“Hvitserk, you hate me. Why did you come to me?” You asked as you reached up and smoothed your palm over his hair. 

“Because I know you’re the one who will help me. You won’t judge me like everyone else.” He sniffled and tightened his embrace around you. “The people I thought were my friends only keep pushing me to more drugs but I don’t wanna do it anymore. I just need to stay somewhere safe and your the only person I could think of.” He cried.

You let out a sigh and traced over your thoughts. You weren’t sure what to make of this. Hvitserk turned into a drug addict over the years and he was begging for your help. Your heart squeezed at that. This was the one man you still somehow loved. And now he was in your bed crying for help. 

A part of you wanted to kick him out. If you were smart you would have done so already. But the other half was screaming to help him. After all, isn’t that what you do when you love someone who needs help?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hvitserk has a slip Reader attempts to help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: NSFW, drug abuse, smut, manipulation, angst, language, mentions of non-con

You jumped up with sweat sticking little strands of your hair to your forehead. Your heart pounded as the faded memories reached you. Hands of another man running up and down your body. It was like you could feel him.

You squirmed and frowned at the memory.

He’s not here anymore. He can’t touch you.

A sigh of relief hits you until you hear the sound of gagging coming from your bathroom. You ran to the bathroom and found Hvitserk hugging your toilet. He wiped the back of his hand across his lips and turn to you. His face was pale. Little beads of sweat filled his entire face as he groaned in pain.

Withdrawals.

“Are you going to be alright?” You asked as you crouched beside him.

He winced and groaned. “Ah, my whole body hurts.”

“Come on let’s get you back to the bed.” You slung one of his shoulders over your arm and helped him up. “You’re lucky it’s the weekend. I don’t have work til Monday.”

He only groaned and hugged himself tight. He spent many hours tossing and turning. His whole body became sweaty and he kept whimpering in pain. You tried finding ways to help him. From cold cups of water to back massages but it didn’t stop his discomfort.

And it didn’t stop him from wanting to get high again. You were cooking in the kitchen when he came out dressed in his now clean clothes.

“Hey, I’m going to run to my place real quick and grab my toothbrush along with some more clothes. I’ll be back.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Don’t tell me you’re going to come back unless you really mean it.”

He nodded his head. “I am coming back.” He promised.

You really didn’t want him to go. But he was his own person. He wasn’t your boyfriend, he wasn’t your son, he was just someone that you still loved but didn’t return the feelings.

When you heard the door close you let out the breath that you held in and went back to cooking.

***

He returned not even an hour later with a backpack and a black hoodie. His hair was tied back in a man bun.

You were at the sink doing dishes when he cleared his throat. You turned to look at him.

“Can we talk in the room real quick? There’s something I wanna show you.” He motioned his head towards the room.

You followed him and watched as he dug in his backpack. He hand something in his hand.

“Before I show you, I want to promise you won’t get mad…just hear me out.”

You already knew this couldn’t be good. He didn’t give you a chance to reply. He pulled his hand out and opened it slowly to reveal two small round pills.

“I need one last hoo-rah. But I don’t want to do it alone.” He explained.

“What do you mean?” You asked confused.

“I mean I want to get high one last time but I want you to do it with me. I don’t like doing anything alone.” He replied.

You furrowed your brows. “I don’t do drugs. I might have a drink once in awhile but that’s it.”

He smiled. “What you got to drink?” He asked.

You groaned. “Just some vodka. But what does that have to do with what’s in your hand?”

He chuckled. “Just get the bottle. Don’t bring anything else.”

You didn’t know why you listened to him but you were curious as to what he was getting at. One part of you was raging with anger but your curiosity drove you to keep your mouth shut. You had secretly hoped this would help him somehow like he was claiming.

“Ok. So tell me why I shouldn’t be mad?” You handed him the bottle.

He opened it and gulped down a shot before handing it back to you. “This is like my last celebration. A farewell to my addiction. It will help me stop.”

You brought the bottle to your lips and took a shot. The liquor burned your throat and you winced.

“I thought you were done.”

Hvitserk nodded his head. “I am but in order to stop I have to end it. And this is how I will end it.” He held a pill up between his his thumb and pointer finger.

“Look, Hvitserk, I can only imagine how hard it is to stop an addiction but isn’t that just feeding it?” You questioned.

He let out a sigh and watched you take another shot from the bottle. “No. It will help.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine. You get high, I’ll get drunk, but after that no more.”

Hvitserk clicked his tongue. “I don’t like doing it alone. Come on Y/N. You said you would help me. This is the first step.”

You sat down on the bed beside him. “After this… You promise?”

He looked at you and nodded his head. You took another shot and felt the liquor finally take its toll. You were finally reaching “fuck it”.

“Here.” He placed the pill on the tip of his finger and brought it to your mouth.

You opened your mouth and allowed him to stick his finger in between your lips. He placed it on your tongue and then popped the last pill. He leaned closer to you and pressed his lips to yours.

His tongue darted between your lips and you felt the tip of his tongue slide the pill down your throat. You swallowed and went to pull away but Hvitserk reached for the back of your head and mashed his lips into yours.

Your entire body burned and you became attracted to his touch like metal on a magnet. It felt great. Just the feel of his lips on top of yours sent hot lightning bolts straight through your body. Your heartbeat accelerated and everything became magnified.

Hvitserk laid you down on your back and grinded his denim clad erection between your thighs. Your whole body was hot he ignited a fire deep inside you. He pulled away and leaned back on his knees to take his shirt off.

“Why are we doing this? You hate me.” You questioned as he removed your shirt.

“I never hated you Y/N. I only hated the fact that I couldn’t have you like all the other girls.” He confessed as he pressed kisses up your stomach.

With one hand he undid your jeans and pulled them down. Your shimmied them down until they finally slid off your feet. He unzipped his jeans and boxers and pulled them down to his thighs. He lifted your legs around his waist and lined himself your entrance.

“I hated that you deserved better.” He whispered before he sheathed his entire length inside you.

You leaned your head back and moaned as he snapped his hips against yours. Under the influence of… Whatever he gave you, it felt like little tingling sparks covered your entire body.

He was moving in fast and violent thrusts but the drug made everything seem like it was in slow motion. You felt him fill you inch by inch then pull away. And then fill you all over again. Your pussy clenched just from the raw feeling of him inside you.

“I hated that I wanted you.” He continued before pressing a kiss on your collar bone and sucking the skin as hard as he could.

“Fuck, I’m going to come.” You whimpered.

“As long as it’s on my dick.” He growled in your ear.

Your entire body trembled and your toes curled as you clenched around his erection. He leaned his forehead against yours. “ Fuck, I can’t wait to come inside you.”

You leaned up and gently brushed your lips against his. He rolled his hips and you felt your entire body crunch up. The impact of your orgasm was intensified and when Hvitserk came inside you, you could feel every drop of his seed slowly climb up inside you.

***

Your whole weekend became a blur after that. One minute Hvitserk was there. Then the next…

He was gone. He left his bag behind filled with clothes so you hoped he would be back soon with a smile on his face and sober. But that wasn’t reality.

No. Instead you were left alone again with your heart sinking in your stomach. That happy warm glow you had suddenly disappeared. It felt like there was a big void in your chest and everything seemed so dark.

You dreaded Monday, hated Tuesday, and despised Wednesday. It was Thursday that you got a surprise at your door. Hvitserk was curled up in front of the door hugging an empty body of whiskey.

If it wasn’t snowing out you would have left him laying there. But it had to be at most 40 degrees in the hallway and you just didn’t have the heart to leave him to freeze. You unlocked the door and dragged his heavy body inside.

You began undressing him and made him stand up. He held onto the wall for support and stepped under the stream of hot water.

“Stay there til you sober up and when your done…” You leaned closer to him. “Sleep on the couch.”

He opened his mouth to talk but he sounded like he was talking in a whole different language. It was all mumbled and just sounds.

You turned to the sink and brushed your teeth real quick before storming off into your room. And you stayed in there until you fell asleep.

You were awoken to the feeling of the bed dipping behind you and a soft pair of lips pressing into your neck.

“Hvitserk, no. I said go sleep on the couch.” You mumbled.

“I can’t sleep. I miss your warmth. Please… Let me stay.” He hummed while holding onto your waist and snuggling against your back.

You laid awake the whole night and secretly wondered if Hvitserk even realized what he was doing to you. He should have just carved your heart out with a knife. It would have been easier for you.

You wanted to tell him to go. You wanted to be strong but feeling his arms wrapped around your waist and hearing his light snore coming from behind your ear anchored you to him. Well you felt his bare chest pressing into your back you wanted him to stay. You wanted him to get better. You wanted him to just stop. But how was that any way possible? It was who he had become. And worst of all…you still loved him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting harder for the Reader.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: NSFW, drug abuse, smut, manipulation, angst, language, mentions of non-con, triggering read with caution!!!

Friday had become your most hated day. Because not only did you spend a whole day working without sleep, but you came home to an empty house yet again. You already knew what he was doing and it only twisted the knife in your heart. But you wouldn’t cry. You refused to cry after… Many years ago when you were but a young innocent girl.

You frowned and sucked in a deep breath.

Okay. This is good. I get to catch up on some sleep and there won’t be any interruptions.

You didn’t even get to take your jacket off and your phone began to vibrate.

“Hello?” You answered quietly.

“Y/N, I think I’m screwing up. I need help. I need you to come get me. Please.”

You grabbed the keys and out the door you went. Hvitserk somehow ended up at some rave party that was literally in the middle of nowhere. Strobe lights were flashing, people were all dancing in one big blob, and Goddamn the music was loud.

“Hvitserk! Hvitserk!” You tried calling his name and searching for him.

This was ridiculous. Why were you letting him do this to You? Why couldn’t you just cut your losses and leave? It was his choice. His mistake.

“Fuck it.” You growled and turned to leave.

Outside the club was a silver Ford focus and in that car was a naked girl on top of a man, moaning. She shifted just a little and your stomach dropped. Hvitserk was beneath her, hands on her hips, moving her up and down.

His glazed eyes turned to you and he stared at you. But he kept going. He kept thrusting inside her. Your feet carried you to your car and with trembling hands you gripped the steering wheel. Tears threaten to spill out but you just kept blinking to hold them at bay.

You knew now where Hvitserk decided to stand and it wasn’t by you side like you hoped. You stopped at the liquor store and bought the biggest bottle of tequila you could find along with a pack of cigarettes. It was only an occasional thing and tonight, you needed them.

***

“Y/N.” Hvitserk’s voice made you jump up. He was banging on the door as hard as he could.

THUD!THUD!THUD!THUD!THUD!THUD!THUD!

“Come on, can you let me in? Or at least just give me my stuff?” Hvitserk’s voice made your blood boil.

You grabbed his backpack and swung your door open. You stalked towards your front door and let out a tired sigh before yanking it open. His glossy eyes went to your face.

“You saw me at the rave…with that girl?” He questioned.

You didn’t answer you just handed him his bag. He gently grabbed it from your trembling hands.

“I didn’t mean for that…I didn’t want… Y/N, I’m so sorry you saw that.”

You looked at his pinpoint pupils and just nodded your head. “Are we done here?”

“Can I just talk to you for a minute? I promise I’ll leave after that and I’ll never bother you again.”

“I don’t believe your promises anymore. You already broke a couple of them.” You snapped before opening the door even wider. “But just in case you decide to keep this one.”

He stepped in and made himself comfortable on the couch. You grabbed the pack of cigarettes on the table and lit one up.

“Alright Hvitserk. Talk. I don’t have all night.”

He looked at you and unzipped his leather jacket. “Right. Well I just wanted to explain a few things, to explain why I’m even like this.”

You sat down in the chair that was straight across from the couch and taken a drag of your cigarette. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. This is how you want to live your life so go live it. By all means get high, fuck bitches in their car. What could possibly go wrong?”

He pulled out a pack of his own and lit himself a cigarette. “I’m trying to tell you. . I don’t want to be like this. But I finally get sober, I finally get over the aches, the vomiting, my head becomes clear again and I can remember.”

You ashed your cigarette and looked at the clock on the wall. 2 o'clock in the morning…just like the first time.

“Remember what, Hvitserk?”

He ran his hands through his messy hair and he looked scared. His eyes were building up with tears but you didn’t show any emotions. How were you after what you just saw him do.

“When I was younger I was left this man. Someone my mom trusted and someone my mom had an affair with.”

You felt your entire body stiffen. “Hardbard.”

Hvitserk blew his smoke out and hooded his head. “But Hardbard was not who he lead to believe.” He sniffles and ashes his cigarette. “He told my mom he would take good care of me and she believed him. I spent 3 weeks in a cabin locked away for the sick bastard to do things to me.”

You watched as tears slowly rolled down his cheeks and you closed your eyes. You felt sick. Your heart began to pound. The memories of a similar event came flooding in your mind.

“I know all about it Hvitserk!” You snapped.

“No you don’t! I fucking fought with everything I had to keep him off me. And I wasn’t the only one there! He had others there too!”

“But you never got to see them because he kept you chained to a wall in a seperate room.” You finished as your shaking hands brought the cigarette to your lips.

“How did you-” His glossy eyes widened and his whole body stiffened as he began to piece together the puzzle. “Oh God, you were the girl in the room next door!” He pointed at you and he grimaced. “Oh, no, no. Not you too!”

For the first time in years you blinked and felt your tears leak free. You put your cigarette out and nodded your head. Your chest ached and you thought you couldn’t breathe.

He took a drag of his cigarette and wiped his tears with the back of his hand. “How- how do you do It? How do you deal with the memories?”

You leaned forward. “I fucking live with them Hvitserk! I face my own reality and I remind myself that he’s gone but I’m still here. He can’t hurt me because he’s dead.”

“But for those 3 weeks we were tortured, starved, beaten! How do you face that reality?” He shouted!

You stood up and stormed towards him. He stopped his cigarette in the ashtray beside him. You cradled his face and made him look up at you.

“We were tortured. We had endured unspeakable horrors in that cabin but there’s a difference between the two of us. You look back at that memory and you see the time you became a VICTIM! Me? I look back at that memory and I see the time I became a SURVIVOR!”

The room became dead silent. The both of you drew in a deep breath but had yet to release it. He reached up and blinked at you as if he was left in awe.

“I’m going to stop and get clean. Maybe not now but soon. When I pick myself up off my feet will I be welcomed back?”

You released his face and stepped away from his face and ran a hand through your hair. Your heart was crumbling. You were breathing but it didn’t feel like it. You felt… Empty, like you were just a shell.

“Hvitserk, why would you want to come back if you’re sober?”

He sniffled. “I know I hurt you and put you through so much this week. But I don’t want me…like this” he motioned towards himself, “to be who you fall in love with. I want to be a better man for you.”

You shook your head. “Hvitserk I loved you since high school you know that.”

“I know… But now isn’t the time to do it. I definitely don’t deserve it. Not with demons I’m fighting right now.” He stood up and slung his bag over his shoulder.

“I came to say goodbye and thank you. Because I wouldn’t have the strength for what I’m about to do if it wasn’t for you.”

You froze. “What are you about to do?”

He let out a sigh and pulled out a brochure for a rehab about 20 miles away. “I’m going in for detox. They’re gonna lock me away for a while but one way or another I’m going to stop. I want to be strong like you. I want to be a survivor like you, and when I look you in the eyes and promise you something I want you to know I really mean it. Because I’ll be sober.”

You examined the brochure and opened it. Something tumbled to the floor. You furrowed your brows and picked up a diamond ring.

“Oh, you. . Dropped this… ” You reached your hand out.

“Its for you Y/N.” He whispered.

You felt your heart skip a beat. “What?”

“It’s my mother’s ring from my father. I stole it from my brothers and I went to pawn it but I saw you run across the street and I changed my mind. I want you to have it as a thank you for being the only one that listened to me.”

You opened your mouth but words couldn’t come out. You were literally stuck between throwing the ring back at him and thanking him. Just hours ago he was with another woman.

“It’s not an engagement ring…But if you ever find it in your heart to forgive me that’s what I’d like it to be.”

You chuckled nervously. “Yeah you’re definitely fucked up right now.”

He leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead. “Come see me in a couple weeks and see for yourself.”

You watched as he opened your door and closed it. And you were left being swept by a wave of so many different emotions you didn’t even know what you were feeling.

***

Hvitserk heads down the stairs and he has every intention on keeping his promises. He wants to make it all up to you especially after knowing that you shared the same past as he did. With every fiber in his being he wanted to become a survivor and become a better man.

But then he sees one of his friend waving at him. He knows he should ignore him but he has a lot of guilt on his chest that he needs to get off before heading to rehab. He silently curses himself and finds himself going back down that dark road again.

After all, what could possibly go wrong this time?

He drinks, pops a few more pills and before he could even stop himself he blacks out.

When he comes back to reality he is slumped up against a wall, sitting on a bench. There’s bright lights beaming in his eyes and he flinches. One of his eyes ache and he looks down to see blood on his clothes.

He moves to stand up but his hand is yanked back down by a pair of silver handcuffs. His heart pounds in his chest and he feels panic rise inside him. His breathing goes haywire as he looks around and tries fiddling with the handcuffs.

“No, no, no!” He cries as he watches a man in a police uniform head towards him.

“Hey Hvitserk, long time no see.” The officer smiles at him.

“What happened?” He asks.

“You got pretty messed up and passed out in an alleyway. One of officers tried to wake you up but you swung and hit him. You got him good. Hope your good and comfortable because he’s pressing charges. You’re looking at doing 2 to 5 years, you little shit.”

The police officer put on a satisfied grin and kept walking.

Hvitserk sat back down on the bench and slammed the back of his head into the wall. How could he be so fucking stupid?

“Y/N.” He whispered quietly as he shut his eyes.

He watched as the memory of you taking care of him filled his mind. He remembered your warmth, your encouraging words, and the look of hurt that was on your face. All because of him.

“Shit.” He cursed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hvitserk works his way to sobriety behind bars with the hopes of being with you again. But it's up to you if your willing to forgive him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: NSFW, light smut, angst, language, mentions of non-con, triggering, fluff, ends with a bang

The sound of metal clanking and then slamming. Hvitserk had grown used to it over the years. He also found a way to despise that sound. It was something he had to listen to for over 180 days.

The first 15 days he spent covered in sweat, curled up in fetal position, rocking back and forth. Sometimes he would close his eyes and image wrapping his arms around you. There was so much you didn’t know and he didn’t get the chance to explain everything.

Hvitserk admired you for your strength and when you were a teenager who swooned over him he didn’t know what to think of it. He always believed he was worthless. Somewhere amongst the abuse he endured as a child he had gained hatred for no one but himself. He believed himself to be nothing but a piece of shit.

So when you told him how you felt all he could do was laugh. He thought you were joking. He thought someone so beautiful and so strong could never love anyone like him. He was a coward, he hid from his guilt. He hid from his past.

By day 60 he had been forced to face his past on his own. And amongst his nightmare that he had night after night, he realized something. He could hear your screams in the next room.

The night he decided to come to you and beg for your help… That was when he first heard your scream and he realized it was You! His own body recognized the one girl who could help heal his pain.

All he had to do was stay with You! All he had to was stay in your damn house and talk to you. But he had become so weak that it was somehow an impossible task.

By day 100 he became restless. All he could think about was you. He had written Ivar, his youngest brother. The amount of guilt on his shoulders had slowly became lighter with each confession he made.

He had at least 50 letters piled up that were meant for you but he found he could never send them to you. He felt it was time to let you go. Because you truly did deserve better.

On day 374 he was anxious, nervous, and excited. It was the day of his release. He wanted to run to your front door and pray that he wasn’t too late. He wanted to scoop you in his arms and bring you to the bedroom where he would take you over and over again.

“Hello Hvitserk.” Ivar’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

He turned around to see his little brother leaning against a shiny black mustang. A big smile spread across his face as his brother approached him.

“Ivar, I didn’t think you would be here!” He gave his brother a quick hug and slapped him on the shoulder.

Ivar nodded his head. “Let’s go. I rented a good hotel room.”

“After I see Y/N. I gotta talk to her real quick.” Hvitserk started heading towards the mustang but stopped when he realised his brother was standing still and slowly shaking his head. “What?” He asked.

Ivar let out a sigh and pulled his hand out of his pocket. Between his thumb and pointer finger was the ring he gave you. Hvitserk’s heart dropped in his stomach.

Now… He wasn’t so excited.

“Don’t worry that is one of the reasons why I’m here. Now come. Have a drink with your brother at least he won’t let you get into trouble.” Ivar opened the driver door and got in.

“What did she say to you? Is she with someone else?” Hvitserk slid in the car.

Ivar rolled his eyes. “You know if you thought about her that much before you got locked up you wouldn’t have been in this position.”

Hvitserk turned his window and frowned. He already knew that but his mind was focused on drugs and forgetting things he didn’t want to remember.

When Ivar parked the car Hvitserk turned with big wide eyes. “Why did you get a hotel room across the street from where she lives?”

Ivar laughed. “Relax. I know what I am doing.”

He sat outside with Ivar and shared a couple shots of tequila with him. It had gotten dark out and by 9 o'clock he became startled when he heard a laugh. Followed by a similar voice.

“And there she is. Finally.” Ivar commented.

Hvitserk turned to his brother. “She’s coming this way!”

Ivar nodded his head.

Hvitserk turned and watched as you had taken a drag of your cigarette.

“Hvitserk, listen to me. I worked hard making sure any man stayed away from her. She doesn’t know that though. So when she comes here don’t freak out or do anything stupid. This is Y/N! Get in the zone! Get in the zone man! This is your last chance to redeem yourself and make everything up to her. Don’t fuck this up!”

***

Your friend turned to you. “Are you sure You’re going to be okay?” She asked.

You slowly nodded your head and dropped your cigarette on the ground. “Good. I got dibs on the one with the pretty blue eyes.”

If only she knew what she was getting into there.

You stepped up to the table and Ivar immediately stood up. Hvitserk hesitated but repeated his brothers actions. You sat down and cleared your throat. Ivar wrapped his arm around your friend.

“Alright you two. Get out of here. You have your own home to go to.” Ivar smiled.

You let out a sigh and turned to Hvitserk. You wanted to run away. But he looked clean. He looked like his own self again. And if it wasn’t for that one thing you needed to show him you you probably would have told him to go fuck off.

But you already had this talk with Ivar. He had a right to know.

“Come on.” You motioned your head across the street.

Hvitserk looked at you baffled but followed you anyways. “Y/N, what are we doing?”

“I’m showing you something.” You answered.

“I didn’t think you would ever want to talk to me again. You know, since you gave my brother the ring.”

You cringed and unlocked the door to the building. You headed straight down the hall.

“I thought you lived up-”

“I had to expand to a bigger apartment. And I gave Ivar the ring because I needed cash fast. I didn’t want to pawn it so I discussed an agreement with your brother. The ring for extra cash.” You explained as you pulled out keys to the new apartment.

“Why?” Hvitserk asked.

You started to get irritated but you reminded yourself to calm down. He came along way from where he was and you didn’t need to scare him off just yet. You opened the door and walked into the big living room. There sat Ubbe on your big black leather couch. Ubbe stood up.

“Y/N, he’s in the room sleeping. Hvitserk, I’ll catch up to you later.” Ubbe turned and walked out the door.

Hvitserk snapped his head towards you. “You brought me here for what? To meet your boyfriend?”

You let out a sigh and shook your head. “Come on.” You walked down the well lit hallway and opened the first door on your left.

Hvitserk just stared at you.

“Come on.” You repeated.

He stepped towards you and the two of you walked into a dim room with light blue walls. There was a dark brown dresser with a night light on it that projected little white boats on the wall and ceiling. Up against the far left wall was a beautiful white crib.

Hvitserk gasped behind you as you walked up to the crib. There was a sleeping 2 month old baby on his back, arms spread out. Dark eyes opened that copied the color of his father’s.

You looked to Hvitserk.

“Hvitserk, I’m not telling you again. Come here.” You warned in your newly found mother’s voice.

Hvitserk slowly approached the crib.

“Baby Hvitserk…meet your father.” You whispered.

Hvitserk just stood there with eyes wide open. He reached forward and scooped the baby up very carefully.

“Baby…” He turned towards you with big bulging eyes.

“Yes. I know.” You laughed.

“I missed my son’s birth.” He whispered as he looked down at the baby.

“Yeah. That happens when you go to jail.” You leaned on the crib.

“This is why you gave Ivar the ring.” Hvitserk placed the baby on his chest and began to rub gentle circles in his little back.

Your son closed his eyes and fell back asleep in his arms. Hvitserk placed your son back in the crib and the two of you made your way to your room.

The moment you closed the door Hvitserk turned on the monitor and stared set the screen.

“I don’t want you to feel pressure. I mean…we hardly know each other but I think our little man would like having you around. Unless you choose to go back to-”

Hvitserk set the baby monitor down and tackled you on the bed. You leaned on your back and Hvitserk immediately crashed his lips onto yours.

“Whoa, Hvitserk, what are you doing?” You between kisses.

Hvitserk pulled away and looked down at you. “Making another baby.” He breathed as he leaned down to pepper your neck with kisses.

“What? Hvitserk are you crazy?!” You whispered.

He grinded his pelvic area into yours and you moaned quietly. As he dug a hand in the waistline of your jeans.

“Don’t worry, I won’t miss the birth of this one.” He vowed before covering your mouth with his.


End file.
